Best Selling Books
The Truth About GriefBy : Herb Orrell
This remarkable book breaks the silence and takes a daring look at how we grieve and what it really takes to heal. Author and pastor Herb Orrell is intelligent, caring and insightful on every page as he shares his own deeply personal story and the unspeakable despair of those he has struggled to counsel in their darkest hours. While he offers no easy answers, along the way you do begin to understand the often surprising ways each of us can finally make peace with our pain.
It's not every day that a book comes along with a truly insightful perspective. "Unspeakable: The Truth About Grief" is one of those books. Most people are familiar with the standard view of the process of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Herb Orrell has noted that many people don't seem to make that last step and as a result end up in some sort of continuos depression. With that in mid and his many years of experience as a minister, he has come to the conclusion that there may be a stage missing. That stage would be the search for meaning.
This book is a book that examines grief in detail from an empathetic viewpoint. The way from depression to acceptance involves a search for meaning in the event. When we search for meaning and ask "Why" the traditional religious reaction is not to even attempt to answer but to point out that asky "Why" is wrong. The author walks us through his experience and his questioning of why bad things happen to good people. Why do children starve? Why does God allow a child to continue in an abused home? Asking why is not wrong, but a part of our normal search for meaning.
Herb Orrell examines the role of fear, anger, and atonement in moving through grief from a very personal perspective. This is a highly recommended book with a truly innovative view on working through the stages of life.
We all cling to the promise that grief is a series of predictable stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then acceptance. Naturally, we expect these stages to run their course. We expect to start feeling better at some point. The only problem is that for most of us, depression does not necessarily lead to acceptance. Most of us suffer in silence, stuck in a despair so intense and so consuming that we keep it hidden, not daring to speak of it to anyone. How can we when those around us, while trying to be supportive, expect us to "get over it" and "move on." After all, isn't that how the grieving process is supposed to work?