70 Things To Do Instead of Sex
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70 Things To Do Instead of Sex

70 Things To Do Instead of Sex The following 754-word article is available for publication in print or online. There is no cost to use the article, but full credit must be included as it appears at the end of the article. Please let us know in advance of your intent to use the article, and when; then a hot link or two copies of the article must be sent to us after publication.

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70 Things To Do Instead of Sex

by Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC


As someone who frequently speaks with teenagers in my practice, I often come across what every parent dreads: sex. Although you may think you’re ready for sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend, there are a lot of things to consider. There’s the possibility of pregnancy or exposing yourself to STDs; both can change your life and the life of your partner forever. You don’t need to have sex to bring you closer to each other. Try some of these activities to help build your relationship:

 1. Go to the park.

2. Watch a little league game.

3. Rent some movies you both like and watch them together.

4. Pack some old bread and cereal and go feed the ducks. When too cold, feed the squirrels or birds (there are always hungry animals around).

5. Play sand volleyball at the beach or the park.

6. Go to the zoo.

7. Play a game or two of pool.

8. Plan to see a movie.

9. Plan your dream home.

10. Cut out photos of your dream home.

12. Make a scrapbook of your friendship.

13. Take photos of each other.

14. Sketch each other.

15. Cook a new recipe together.

16. Make a toothpick house.

17. Make a sand castle.

18. Paint pottery at a ceramic store. (eg. In Houston, visit www.themadpotter.com)19. Make a CD of great music for each other.

20. Take apart your partner’s favorite song and tell your partner what verses remind you of each other.

21. Wash the family pets.

22. Wash the family cars.

23. Go to a High School football game.

24. Volunteer for an Assisted Living Home. Ask different patients to tell you how they met.

25. Plant a garden (you can do this inside by using pots).

26. Make cards for each other.

27. Make a book titled 50 things I like about you.

28. Learn to crochet or knit.

29. Submit an article to a local newspaper that will improve people’s lives.

30. Do extra credit together for a class.

31. Go to the library, and share neat books.

32. Go bowling.

33. Talk about your goals and values. Ask each other how you can help achieve these goals.

34. Get a job working for your parents and do it together.

35. Cook dinner for your parents…take turns on whose house you go to.

36. Go to a Yoga class together.

37. Take a dance class together.

38. Learn to lift weights This will improve your body and your mind.

39. Go to each other’s churches.

40. Visit a flea market on a Sunday.

41. Go bird watching.

42. Go one whole day without talking to each other. Write down everything you wanted to say.

43. Write each other a love letter. Put some thought and work into it.

44. Have a Monopoly marathon. Invite two other friends.

45. Attend a college play.

46. Attend a college sporting event.

47. Go to a job fair in an area of your interest.

48. Go to the Planetarium.

49. Sketch where the stars are and then chart the constellations.

50. Go canoeing on Buffalo Bayou.

51. Get involved in a community outing.

52. Become a “reader “for a local church or to help “shut ins.”

53. Make pizza for your family. Let everyone order the kind they want.

54. Have a picnic. You can even do this in the living room.

55. Get involved in the Soup Kitchen at your local community center.

56. Help each other clean out your closets and donate the clothes.

57. Help each other paint your rooms.

58. Go fishing.

59. Teach each other your area of expertise (painting, sports, movies, music, etc.).

60. Go biking.

61. Sign up for a sports event like the MS 150.

62. Run/walk the Komen Race for the Cure.

63. Sign up to do the “Walk from Obesity.”

64. Do the walk for the March of Dimes.

65. Do the run for Leukemia.

66. If you know someone sick, organize a “fund raiser.”

67. Volunteer at the Salvation Army.

68. Watch each other’s shows on TV and talk about the episode.

69. Take up a “Parent Sport” like golfing. Go with your parents.

70. Talk to your girlfriends’/boyfriends’ parents. How do they feel about your relationship with their son/daughter?


There are tons of things you can do with your boyfriend or girlfriend to have a deeper relationship. Talk to each other, do activities with each other. You don’t need to have sex for a more profound connection.
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Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist and co-author with Janine J. Sherman, of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever. Read more about the book at www.StartTalkingBook.com and more about Rapini at www.maryjorapini.com.

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Start Talking features succinct yet lively answers, sample conversations, and real life stories to help open the door to better mother/daughter communication. Rapini and Sherman have compiled more than 113 questions girls (and their moms) routinely ask – or should be asking – about health, sex, body image, and dating.